Quite confused

...but still hanging on.

I KNOW God is good. I know He's got a heart of wisdom and that He will work ALL things together for good in this situation.

I just don't see the whole picture right now. and it's driving me crazy.

I find myself in a daily battle to keep my hope in the Lord.

If nothing else, this experience has certainly given me an enormous respect for those who keep their heads up while battling a long-term disease that leaves them weak and feeling like half of themselves. Like those who have cancer. Oh my word. I have such a respect for those who have cancer..

And maybe something else too...I think I've seen strength-- physical strength, that is-- as something of my own accord-- as if I was the one giving it to myself or something...and now that physical strength is a precious rarity, I think maybe I'm finally realizing WHERE my source of strength comes from. What a gift it is...

"For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?" - 1 cor 4:7

I keep thinking: I just wanna be normal. I just wanna feel well again.

But NO. I just want more of Jesus. I want what HE wants for my life.

...even surrender.

ah. that's enough for today.

I will cling to His unfailing love.