Overdose of lovingkindness

My heart is bursting right now.

It seems I have an abundance of everything. I have a gracious and compassionate God. I am so blessed. So undeserving of God's lovingkindness. And yet, my life is dripping with it.

Let's back it up.

I did not expect to have a week like this. A bumpy, confusing one. This is day six of struggling with iron-deficiency issues. Firstly, physically, I've never felt quite like this. Let's just say iron is rather essential to normal functioning. Secondly though...my heart has been pulled in so many directions this week. The enemy has been after my heart. And I believed his lies. I DID NOT GAURD MY HEART. I ate up the discouragement, and it poisoned me. Self, self, self. Maybe not on the outside, but on the inside, it was as if everything was caving in. I couldn't see straight.

But praise be to the Lifter of my head. He is a gracious and merciful savior. I've been so disloyal to Him this week. And yet, he is patient. Like my Hosea, He takes me back in all of my junk.

And it's like it's all the sweeter coming back. Only in this past hour have I been truly thankful that I got sick. Time and time again, it's like the Lord has to smash me on the head before I wake up to things. Not because He's cruel. NO. Not because He's confusing and sporadic. Because He wants me to LIVE life and not run through it.

I am drowning in blessings. Life itself is undeserved.

One week ago today, someone prayed for me that I would learn to take each day one at a time and truly live them.

I think Im beginning to get it. Maybe.

Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. Surely my soul remembers and is bowed down within me. This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The LORD'S lovingkindesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. It is good that he waits silently for the salvation of the LORD. " Lamentations 3:19-26