EXIT COMFORT ZONE.

"If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?" [Matthew 5:46-47]

"Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, your heart will be also." [Luke 12:33-34]

I have so much STUFF.

I thought I wasn't attached...that it didn't really mean that much to me. I thought that when the time came, I could abandon it all and serve the poor and lowly in africa, or india, or the inner city...i could live that rugged life.

haha. RIGHT.

In the past two weeks God has brought to mind DAILY deep questions about my own willingness to let go. One night as I was laying in bed, asking for the Lord's direction, I felt him bringing to mind two articles of clothing: a yellow shirt and a pair of shorts.

Uh...You're not asking me to give them up, are you?

[a definite feeling in my spirit that God wanted surrender.]

Okay, seriously, Lord? Those are like my favorite pieces of clothing. I must be hearing you wrong.

[again, deep in my heart, i know i'm dancing around his request.]

After about 15 minutes of me groping for an excuse...
Okay Lord, you can have the shirt. But...seriously...those are my favorite shorts! I JUST bought them last fall. I haven't even WORN them that much. You're not calling me to waste my money like that, are you? (HAHA..i can't believe i said that! :] )What if I give into you "supposedly" asking me to give them up...and I can't find any modest shorts NEXT summer?

[TRUST ME.]

BAH! I'll think about this is the morning.

...wait, I'm REALLY not going to obey if I don't obey now...

After a LONG battle, most of which I'll spare you, I finally moved these two silly pieces of clothing to my giveaway pile and went to sleep.

but DUDE. I did NOT realize I was so attached to these things. Why was that so unbelievably hard to me? To be honest, this experience kinda scared me and has made me take a hard look at myself in light of the Lord's calling for us to take up our cross and follow Him.

"Lukewarm people give money to charity and go to church... as long as it doesn't impinge upon their standard of living. If they have a little extra and it is easy and safe to give, they do so..." --Francis Chan [Crazy Love]

About a week ago, I finally felt like I'd come to a place where I was willing to give up the "extra" things in life...the extra sweater and mug and CD...But God doesn't want the extra.

He wants our hearts.

He wants our trust.

He wants our full abandon.

Oh Lord! Take it away! Take away this attachment to items that get worn out and forgotten. Take away the attachment to my own comfort. Show me how to really love YOU! Even when I cannot see and I do not understand.

Change this heart.